A Christmas Story, As Reviewed By A 12-Year-Old In 1983

What, you think I only began obsessing about movies once Stand By For Mind Control went live? Gosh, no. By the age of 11 I could give you my list of favorite directors and piss you off by explaining at length why Poltergeist was way better than E.T.

An American Werewolf In London was the best movie of all time in those days, and Escape From New York wasn’t far behind.

Not that I didn’t like comedies, mind you. I’ll never forget seeing, in 6th grade, at the beautiful New Varsity theatre, a triple bill of Stripes, Caddyshack, and Fast Times At Ridgemont High. Good times for an 11-year-old boy.

In 7th grade at my awesome northern California hippie school we produced a couple issues of a “newspaper”, which is a thing something like a bunch of web pages printed out and folded together (ask you parents), in which I wrote this succinct yet insightful review of the newly released A Christmas Story. Note also my scathing take-town of film critic rating systems, complete with typo (purposeful? who can say?).

christmas story review

Well, okay. It’s maybe not my finest moment. If only you’d been around in ’82 to hear me expound upon the wonders of Tron

One response on “A Christmas Story, As Reviewed By A 12-Year-Old In 1983

Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.