Suicide Squad: A Video Review August 6, 2016 · by Evil Genius · in Pithy Reviews. · Right? Just so fascinatingly terrible that you almost want to watch it again. But then, ha ha, no. No thank you. Welcome to Information Retrieval
So I’m guessing, and this is a guess, mind you, that you didn’t like it?
You would think so, but then I can’t stop watching the dryer video. There is something fascinating about both.
I mean: the story is abysmal — it’s theoretically about collecting a gang of bad meta-humans or whatever to stop other badder meta-humans, and yet the gang they collect seems to contain almost NO meta-humans. A basic-level issue I’m not even sure what to say about. They’ve got a dude who can control fire, one who looks like he’s got really bad acne, and then… a crazy lady with a bat? That’s a superpower? Some guy who’s got great aim? A meathead with a boomerang? A lady with a sword. It’s a special sword, but still: it’s a fucking sword.
And that’s the GOOD part of the plot.
It looks seriously goofy. It goes nowhere. It has Jared Leto trying to poop into his own mouth (figuratively, but only barely). At least 75% of the sequences have nothing to do with anything.
And yet… Margot Robbie is doing something that’s undeniably entertaining (when we’re looking at her face and not her ass, which is about 1/3 or the time she’s on-screen). Will Smith is doing a generic Will Smith thing, but he does it ably, just in the wrong movie. Not to harp on it, but his character has GOOD AIM. That’s it. He doesn’t even have a special gun that shoots space boogers or something.
Then they defeat the bad guys with a bomb. Actually two different bombs. Not space bombs. Not mutant bombs. Just regular old bombs.
I don’t know why they bothered bringing that crazy lady with the bat along. Or anyone, for that matter. They could have taped a few bombs to some squirrels and saved the day a lot quicker.
I didn’t see BvS: DoJ but the idea that that film is somehow worse than this is stunning. I am guessing that is due entirely to this one containing Margot Robbie. As disrespectful as the whole Harley Quinn character is, and her story, and her presentation here — Robbie is good.
So it’s like throwing a cinderblock into a NICE DRYER.