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Author Archives: Evil Genius

Let the Corpses Tan, and Gold, and Sparkle, and Melt

August 24, 2018by Evil Genius Leave a comment

The next time I say, “Let’s go someplace like Bolivia,” let’s go someplace like Bolivia.

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Pithy Reviews

The Endless Isn’t Timeless, but Is of Interest

August 6, 2018by Evil Genius 1 Comment

What does it mean if the moon is stronger than you and what does it mean if you’re stronger than the moon? Shall we stay another night and find out?

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Pithy Reviews

Three Identical Strangers Is Indeed Strange

July 9, 2018by Evil Genius 3 Comments

There is an itch to scratch, one that’s sunk deep in the center of your back, as if you’d had a pair of identical siblings your entire life and never knew it until RIGHT NOW.

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Pithy Reviews

Solo. Preferably Solo I Can’t Hear You.

June 4, 2018by Evil Genius 6 Comments

Just stop, people.

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Active Observation

Some Brief Thoughts on That What’s Been Watched

January 26, 2018by Evil Genius Leave a comment

Just pretend it’s a Star Wars movie and that the two leads are supposed to be as charismatic as canned salmon.

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Pithy Reviews

Streaming Salvation December 2017

December 16, 2017by Evil Genius 5 Comments

They had the skill. They had the cred and the time and resources and, yet, what they have produced is so pube-straightingly, joint-invertingly, ghastly terrible you will not stop removing your eyes to check if they’re still working properly from the time it starts to its thankful finish.

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10 Somethingest Somethings, Pithy Reviews, Twilight's Last Streaming

Three Paragraphs About Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri

November 26, 2017by Evil Genius Leave a comment

Three Billboards is more of a Twin Peaks ruse; a rusty nail upon which to hang an assortment of meaty, twisted, and — yes — angry characters.

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Pithy Reviews

Streaming Salvation November 2017

November 21, 2017by Evil Genius 1 Comment

What? You’re sick of spending so long searching through streaming service catalogs that by the time you find something you don’t-even-really-want-to-watch you no longer have time to watch it? Join the […]

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10 Somethingest Somethings

Is A Cure for Wellness as Subversively Insane as Verbinksi’s The Lone Ranger?

November 14, 2017by Evil Genius 3 Comments

You all wrote off The Lone Ranger as big-budget Hollywood tripe but you were excessively incorrect. Are you equally mistaken to dismiss Verbinski’s latest, A Cure for Wellness?

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Pithy Reviews

Stop Staring into Your Square and Stare into The Square

November 8, 2017by Evil Genius 1 Comment

An emoji is not an emotion, even if we’re talking about a smiling pile of poop.

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Active Observation

The Bad Batch Might Eat Your Leg

September 28, 2017by Evil Genius Leave a comment

Imagine if you took Mad Max and mixed it with mumblecore and maybe a dash of Hal Hartley. Just, you know, with cannibals and psychedelics and fear of the other.

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Pithy Reviews

Remakes Are for White Supremacists

September 6, 2017by Evil Genius Leave a comment

You know what film I knew was going to be terrible within the first three minutes?

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Active Observation, Pithy Reviews

Logan Lucky: Soderbergh’s Best Coen Brothers’ Comedy

August 30, 2017by Evil Genius 1 Comment

Logan Lucky frames itself as a paean to the people of the Mid-Atlantic and their underrated pluck. ‘Take me home, country roads,’ it croons, but I was not tempted. 

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Pithy Reviews

The Good & Bad News About Atomic Blonde

August 8, 2017by Evil Genius 3 Comments

Atomic Blonde lands a welter of punches and leaves you reeling — which is great, because once you stop spinning you’re sure to say, “hang on a minute…”

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Pithy Reviews

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