Solo. Preferably Solo I Can’t Hear You.
Just stop, people.
Author Archives: Evil Genius
Some Brief Thoughts on That What’s Been Watched
Just pretend it’s a Star Wars movie and that the two leads are supposed to be as charismatic as canned salmon.
Streaming Salvation December 2017
They had the skill. They had the cred and the time and resources and, yet, what they have produced is so pube-straightingly, joint-invertingly, ghastly terrible you will not stop removing your eyes to check if they’re still working properly from the time it starts to its thankful finish.
Three Paragraphs About Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri
Three Billboards is more of a Twin Peaks ruse; a rusty nail upon which to hang an assortment of meaty, twisted, and — yes — angry characters.
Streaming Salvation November 2017
What? You’re sick of spending so long searching through streaming service catalogs that by the time you find something you don’t-even-really-want-to-watch you no longer have time to watch it? Join the […]
Is A Cure for Wellness as Subversively Insane as Verbinksi’s The Lone Ranger?
You all wrote off The Lone Ranger as big-budget Hollywood tripe but you were excessively incorrect. Are you equally mistaken to dismiss Verbinski’s latest, A Cure for Wellness?
Stop Staring into Your Square and Stare into The Square
An emoji is not an emotion, even if we’re talking about a smiling pile of poop.
The Bad Batch Might Eat Your Leg
Imagine if you took Mad Max and mixed it with mumblecore and maybe a dash of Hal Hartley. Just, you know, with cannibals and psychedelics and fear of the other.
Remakes Are for White Supremacists
You know what film I knew was going to be terrible within the first three minutes?
Logan Lucky: Soderbergh’s Best Coen Brothers’ Comedy
Logan Lucky frames itself as a paean to the people of the Mid-Atlantic and their underrated pluck. ‘Take me home, country roads,’ it croons, but I was not tempted.
The Good & Bad News About Atomic Blonde
Atomic Blonde lands a welter of punches and leaves you reeling — which is great, because once you stop spinning you’re sure to say, “hang on a minute…”
Lady Snowblood Will Have Blood Coming Out of Your Wherever
It is a film about the tragic cycle of revenge and how fun it is to watch that played out in vivid color.
10 Simon & Garfunkel Songs That Would Make for a Better Film than Baby Driver
Hey look! It’s a goddamned lemur. Far out.
Why Wonder Woman Works
Wonder Woman proves that female directors and female leads and female characters can do everything the boys can do, and better.