Almost Nothing About Godzilla vs. Kong and The New Mutants
I am ready to leave the house, please.
Category Archives: What Not to Watch
Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone Is All You Dreamed
“I’m getting too old for this shit.”
What Not To Watch Roundup 2017
You have a little bit of 2017 left, dear cinema enthusiasts! Make sure to spend that remaining time not watching these bad films.
Only ’90s Kids Will Get Everything That’s Wrong With Beauty And The Beast (2017)
In which the Disney Corporation destroys yet another cherished childhood memory.
Escape to The War Room (1993)
Humans are usually trying to escape from wars. Be certain not to watch The War Room (1993).
The Nice Guys? They Finish Last
In which we look shallowly into the soul of a profoundly unfunny “comedy.”
The Unending Horror of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein
This is the worst film I will never be able to forget seeing.
Independence Day: It Sucks
I can’t wait for Brexit: the Movie. Everyone loves a disaster flick.
What Not to Watch: Fantastic Four
This is a dumpster fire full of other, smaller, dumpster fires.
The Ladykillers: The Lone Coens Piece of Crap
Who knew they had a movie this bad in them? I wish I still lived in ignorance.
Prince of Darkness: Carpenter’s Worst?
Got another contender? Sad to say, I bet you do.
The Gunman Gets Gory
The Gunman is like The Constant Gardener for people who don’t like nice things.
Intercontinental Lousy Movie Marathon
Uncensored thoughts concerning the seven movies that stand united and determined to defeat me from my User-Editable Favourites Queue on the seatback screen on this 17-hour trip to Australia.
Some Positive Thoughts about Jupiter Ascending
If you have been dying to see Sean Bean act in a film in which he does not die and in which he plays a bee soldier, Jupiter Ascending might remove that last final chunk of your will to live.