In which a pair of crazy writers write themselves into early graves.
You will watch these films and rock us sockless. And then you will collect all of our socks and make a shitload of sock puppets.
‘Scuse me while I whip this out.
I’m of two minds about this week’s Mind Control Double Feature.
What’s that? You got in a fight? And you won? That’s very impressive of you. Whom did you fight? Was it—a human being? Yawn. A real man doesn’t fight other men. He fights trains.
All I want is one lousy priceless diamond of international significance. Is that too much to ask?
They’re everywhere. Waiting. Watching. Rustling in the breeze. Flowering, some of them, the dirty bastards. Plants. Shrubs, trees, perennials, grass. Everywhere you look. Biding their sweet time. Shrug off the […]
Possibly — just possibly — that head was making out with your mom last night.
We’ve all been there. In an alley. With a gun. A knife. A fist. Or with money, paying off a hit-man, not worrying about the grisly details. Sometimes people are inconvenient, is the thing, and what more convenient way to remove their inconvenience than by murdering them?
I don’t give a rat’s ass if you are the Meryl Streep of birthday party performers. I’m younger, cuter, and hungrier. Plus, my balloon animals are insane and they will cut you.
There is no scarier place on earth than a hospital. Disease festers on every surface. The halls echo with screams of the dying. Depraved, sleep-deprived medical practitioners fornicate in ORs.
I don’t want to freak you out, but giant, dangerous, super-powered rabbits are everywhere.
Back in the Depression, nothing was more delightful than watching impossibly rich ne’er-do-wells robbing even richer ones only to fall madly in love with one another and sail away into diamond encrusted sunsets.
Hey there sweet thing. Let me light some candles. Put a little Marvin Gaye on the hi-fi. Fill up our pockets with cereal. Let me do whatever I can to get you in the mood.