Woody Allen Makes Magic In The Moonlight
In which, like the fabled groundhog, Woody Allen emerges to enact his yearly ritual: the presentation of a new movie.
Author Archives: Supreme Being
A Hard Day’s Night Is Really Good, And Other Stunning Beatles Revelations
I think this band could really make it big.
Gremlins Will Eat Your Face
Joe Dante’s 1984 Christmas movie, Gremlins, is the funniest, bleakest, most horrific kids’ movie ever made. In fact it may be the only horror movie for kids I can think of.
Beware Of Mr. Baker: On The Invention Of The Rock Drummer
In which Ginger Baker, the original madman drummer, is exhumed for our examination. So to speak.
Going Ape #8: Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes
The apes return, and I’m sad to report that it’s less than it’s cracked up to be.
Going Back To Back To The Future
One needn’t go very far out on a limb to say that Back To The Future is a fun movie. You could say it without so much as climbing a tree in the first place.
I Like Two-Lane Blacktop
Do you like it too? Or do you think you might want to like it? Come on inside and we’ll have a nice chat about it.
Going Ape #7: Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes
Rise of The Planet of The Apes is the best Apes movie since Beneath, if not the original. It does what I wish so many other summer movies would do: tell a straightforward story in a brisk 90 minutes centered on a character you care about.
Snowpiercer: Better Than A Poke In The Eye With A Sharp Stick
Snowpiercer’s failing is that it’s simultaneously overwritten and underwritten. It’s a blatant political allegory whose obvious points are muddled and vague. If you can imagine such a thing. And yet…
Trapped With Idiots In Room 237
In which a documentary narrated by a number of loons describing their pet theories on what Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining is really about is given some thought.
Going Ape #6: Planet Of The Apes – The 2001 Tim Burton Remake
To call Tim Burton’s ’01 “re-imagining” of Planet of The Apes aggressively awful would be to do it a kindness. I fear no assemblage of words will do the wretchedness of this movie justice. Give a single monkey a single typewriter, a deadline, and a bottle of bourbon, he’d write a movie better than this one.
The Creepy Fable That Is Borgman
Is Borgman a man? A faerie? A nimble forest sprite? A demon? Whatever he is, he’s going to be trouble. You don’t want to mess with Borgman. You want to stick an eight foot spike through him.
Joe? No!
For your perusal, here’s the first review by our new, highly unpaid intern, Jimbo “Wally” Smoop.
Oh Boy! A Coffee In Berlin
Some days all you want is a cup of coffee, and you can’t even get that much right.