Going Ape #8: Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes
The apes return, and I’m sad to report that it’s less than it’s cracked up to be.
Author Archives: Supreme Being
Going Back To Back To The Future
One needn’t go very far out on a limb to say that Back To The Future is a fun movie. You could say it without so much as climbing a tree in the first place.
I Like Two-Lane Blacktop
Do you like it too? Or do you think you might want to like it? Come on inside and we’ll have a nice chat about it.
Going Ape #7: Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes
Rise of The Planet of The Apes is the best Apes movie since Beneath, if not the original. It does what I wish so many other summer movies would do: tell a straightforward story in a brisk 90 minutes centered on a character you care about.
Snowpiercer: Better Than A Poke In The Eye With A Sharp Stick
Snowpiercer’s failing is that it’s simultaneously overwritten and underwritten. It’s a blatant political allegory whose obvious points are muddled and vague. If you can imagine such a thing. And yet…
Trapped With Idiots In Room 237
In which a documentary narrated by a number of loons describing their pet theories on what Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining is really about is given some thought.
Going Ape #6: Planet Of The Apes – The 2001 Tim Burton Remake
To call Tim Burton’s ’01 “re-imagining” of Planet of The Apes aggressively awful would be to do it a kindness. I fear no assemblage of words will do the wretchedness of this movie justice. Give a single monkey a single typewriter, a deadline, and a bottle of bourbon, he’d write a movie better than this one.
The Creepy Fable That Is Borgman
Is Borgman a man? A faerie? A nimble forest sprite? A demon? Whatever he is, he’s going to be trouble. You don’t want to mess with Borgman. You want to stick an eight foot spike through him.
Joe? No!
For your perusal, here’s the first review by our new, highly unpaid intern, Jimbo “Wally” Smoop.
Oh Boy! A Coffee In Berlin
Some days all you want is a cup of coffee, and you can’t even get that much right.
Mind Control Double Feature #99: Beware The Middleman
Two unique movies about nefarious middlemen that are the same movie but entirely different movies even though they’re precisely the same!
Godzilla: The Original 1954 Atomic Bad-Ass
There are a few good things to be said about the new Godzilla. The best thing to be said is that it inspired a theatrical re-release of the original, Raymond Burr-free Japanese version from 1954.
The Edge of Tomorrow One Word Review: Wow
To see quite a few more words, and to find out whether that’s a good or a bad “wow,” come on inside.
The Top 10 (Modern) Doctor Who Episodes
The most scientifically accurate such list you will find anywhere on the interwebs.