Wreck It Ralph: About as Funny as Pong
In order to tear something down, first you must build. Otherwise, there’s no loss, no drama. Wreck It Ralph took a by-the-numbers plot and over-gilded it with in-jokes, asides, and […]
Explosive Wu Xia Action
I am not, in general, a kung fu fighter. That’s not to say that I can’t get into the balletic precision and athletic exuberance that imbues top-notch martial arts movies. […]
On Lincoln, Spielberg, And Crushing Boredom
One of the inconcievably vast number of brain-rapingly awful things about Indiana Jones And The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull was Steven Spielberg’s boring direction, evident in every boring frame […]
This Post is Exactly as Funny as American Reunion
Here are all of the jokes in the first 52 minutes of the eighth American Pie film, American Reunion: Jim (Jason Biggs) is caught masturbating by small child Jim hurts […]
Hal Ashby And Bound For Glory
Speaking of directors with unbroken strings of great movies, does anyone top Hal Ashby in the ’70s? In order, he made Harold & Maude, The Last Detail, Shampoo, Bound For […]
This Double Feature is Not as It Seems
There is, perhaps, a thin film of deception spread across the skein of the world. What you see with your eyes, what your ears alert you to, what your grubby […]
Holy Motors: The Play’s the Thing
In Holy Motors, M. Oscar opens his file to find who he should be next. Is it performance or is it life? It seems “yes” is the answer. Now count how […]
The Steven Soderbergh Trifecta
From his first proto-indie, art house feature (Sex, Lies, and Videotape) to his big budget Hollywood successes (Ocean’s Eleven) to his bizarre experimental stuff (Full Frontal), I’ve consistently queued up to see Steven […]
Mind Control Double Feature #17: In Which Helen Mirren Gets Naked And Screws
Now let’s not be offended by my search-engine-humping title there. Helen Mirren, as I trust you’re all aware, is and always has been a fantastic actress. She’s also always been […]
Who Goes There?, The Thing From Another World, The Thing, And The Thing
In 1938 John W. Campbell wrote a creepy as all hell science fiction story titled Who Goes There?, about a team in the arctic who discovers a spaceship they estimate […]
The Best Zombie Movies That There Are
The following guest post from MC Frontalot is about zombies and, therefore, will eat your brain. If you do not know of our gentleman rapper friend’s nerdcore awesomeness, well, you […]
From The “Well What Did You Expect? The Coen Brothers?” File: Michael Arndt To Write New Star Wars Movie For Disney
The thing that drives me most insane about new Star Wars movies and George Lucas and those last three abominations is the very fact that it drives me insane. Damn […]
The Sky(fall) is (sky)Falling
It’s hard not to like James Bond films—particularly if you are now or once were a teenage boy. James Bond has been, for 50 years, an icon of suave, seductive […]
Skyfall vs. Moonraker
Skyfall, the 23rd James Bond movie in 50 years, is out, and people are calling it one of the best. It’s been raking in cash all over the world for […]