Battle Of The Absolute Equals is an SB4MC feature that seeks to definitively rank and compare two indistinguishable films.
In which a rapper tells you about movies.
Hectic warehouse crescendos: one
You have a little bit of 2017 left, dear cinema enthusiasts! Make sure to spend that remaining time not watching these bad films.
This is a flying car that just took a high-caliber round through the engine block.
In which the Disney Corporation destroys yet another cherished childhood memory.
No single acceptable filmmaking decision led us here. The vast tower of bad choices became something else: a history, a promise.
Stars. Wars. Etc.
Humans are usually trying to escape from wars. Be certain not to watch The War Room (1993).
Essentially Eyes Wide Shut, but with fewer pretentious orgies.
A profound cinematic meditation 30,000+ feet above the Earth. Part 2.
Uncensored thoughts concerning the seven movies that stand united and determined to defeat me from my User-Editable Favourites Queue on the seatback screen on this 17-hour trip to Australia.
It’s all gunplay, explodey bits, and kisses from here on out. Whatever planet they’re on seems pretty disposable. And flammable.
Having a hard time deciding what not to watch? Please allow Stand By For Mind Control special correspondent MC Frontalot to help you out by watching many movies he — and you — should keep clear of your optical sockets.