The Raid 2: Berendal: It’s Hammer Time!
Please. Just stop. You can’t touch this.
Category Archives: Pithy Reviews
Child’s Pose Makes it Hard to Relax
The new Romanian film, Child’s Pose, asks you a very rude question
True Detective is (Cardiac) Arresting
I totally understand. If you told me that there was yet another television show about some madhouse serial killer and the resolute and colorful detectives who track him down—and that […]
The Last Stand Easily Kills Your Time
The Last Stand is either exactly what you expect or your irrationally fond memories of Commando have confused your brainparts. All of these movies are dumb, but some of them are also kind of fun. This one is dumb, fun, and Netflix streaming approved.
American Hustle vs. American Gangster
Eat the damn thing, kid. It’s a good movie. Tastes like Serpico.
Lisztomania Blitzophrenia Aphrodelia
If one takes things at face value, then Ken Russell’s 1975 film Lisztomania is about composer Franz Liszt. Regardless of how one takes things, however, the film is completely unhinged, unabashed, […]
The Visitor is a Turd Cake Full of Turds
It is beyond terrible. And I say this, having just sat through M. Night Shyamalan’s Lady in the Water, a film which is clearly better than The Visitor because it is at least dreadful in a new and surprising way.
Hollywood Experiences A Hijacking
The new Danish film, A Hijacking (Kapringen), which I watched last night, seems like the mirror image of the upcoming Paul Greengrass / Tom Hanks film Captain Phillips. In the expensive Hollywood […]
RED 2: Most Visible Film of the Year
I went to see RED 2 to give my new glasses a test run. I am happy to report that this film is completely visible. More visible, in fact, than […]
10 Awesome Things About Pacific Rim
If there’s one thing I really don’t want to do, it’s write another long post about how some summer movie is completely incoherent and stark naked when stripped of its endless […]
21 Jump Street: Actually Pretty Funny
I never saw the television show 21 Jump Street. Not even once. But I did see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and I really liked it. And the trailer for the […]
A Decidedly Ungenerous Review of Now You See Me
From the marketing, I had expected Now You See Me to be a thrilling tale about stage magicians who rob banks as some sort of master scheme to make Jesse Eisenberg […]
Berberian Sound Studio & the Ghost in the Machine
I would like you to listen closely. That’s what Berberian Sound Studio—a new mind-warping creeper helmed by Peter Strickland—asks you to do. This is a dissociative sort of picture. One in which what […]
The First Third of the Legend of Kaspar Hauser
I walked out of a film last night. The last time I did that was 1994. According to festival reviewers (SF Indie Fest and others), The Legend of Kaspar Hauser combines the […]