Big Eyes Commits Artistic Fraud
Tim Burton returns with a movie as deep as a very, very shallow puddle. I advise swimming elsewhere.
Mind Control Double Feature #103: Die, Santa Claus, Die!
The most horrifying depravities ever committed to Christmas-themed celluloid!
What Not to Watch: 42
42 makes Jackie Robinson as interesting as day 12 of the Overcooked Vegetable Conference of America.
My Top Five Top Five
In which I try to let everything in my head free and, also, talk about this Chris Rock movie.
North Korean Hackers’ Latest Demands: More Adam Sandler Movies
Sony faced with ever-lengthening list of demands; expected to cave to every one.
Watching Detention Will Olden You
CRITIC GENERAL’S WARNING: Watching this film may result in premature balding, liver spots, incontinence, advanced crotchetiness, and the death of narrative cinema.
Pioneer: Wet & Wild-Eyed Norwegians
Shall we explore the murky depths with some neoprene-coated Norwegians?
On Sony, the Media, & Mind Control
If there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us it’s that information will not be contained. Knowledge breaks free, it expands to new territories and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously, but, uh… well, there it is.
The Imitation Game: An Alan Turing Simulacrum
The by-the-numbers Oscar-bait bio-pic about the code-cracking father of the modern computer, Alan Turing, is exactly what you think it is.
Inherent Vice: Pynchon’s Stoner Noir Gets Andersonized
Paul Thomas Anderson adapts the Thomas Pynchon novel, and the result is as odd as you’d think. But is it good?
Zero Motivation: War Is Hell(ishly Boring)
Israelis have mandatory military service and someone’s got to not make the coffee and fuck up the filing.
The Top 10 Films of 2014 (and the Next 10 Best, Too)
Are YOU one of the top ten films of 2014? If you have character, direction, debatable conclusions, and few or no exploding robot superheroes, chances look good!
Bad Timing = Bad Movie
One of the more unpleasant movies you will ever, if you’re smarter than me, not bother to watch.
10 Things The Tim Burton Batman Did Right
In which we discover that Burton’s not-so-fondly remembered Batman is better than we thought.