Best Of Bay Area Film – April 2014
Don’t know what movies, old and new, you ought to be excited about seeing this April? Do not panic. We are here to assist.
Understanding Megamovies: The Supermodels of Cinema
Megamovies sound supercilious, but you can read the definition of this new term here — a world first exclusive!
The Aelita Queen Of Mars Review You’ve Been Waiting 90 Years To Read
Nowadays it’s common knowledge that the monsters living on Mars are far from humanoid in shape. We know they live inside the planet, hiding from the eyes behind our telescopes, […]
Noah, Or: Aronofsky Vs. The Bible
Finally, the eternal question is answered: why tapeworms, Noah? You leave the dinosaurs and take the tapeworms? We demand an explanation!
Noah, Like the Lord, Makes Odd Mistakes
No one’s perfect.
The Broken Circle Breakdown Is Broke, All Right
Woe to thee who dares view this broken down turd of a movie.
Mind Control Double Feature #88: Dirty Bottoms
I don’t give a rat’s ass if you are the Meryl Streep of birthday party performers. I’m younger, cuter, and hungrier. Plus, my balloon animals are insane and they will cut you.
Enjoy Yourself Some Cheap Thrills
Cheap Thrills is a depraved, cocaine-covered punch in the nose, except you’re punching yourself—as hard as you can—for money.
Breathe In, Walk Out
Guess what happens.
The Silver Streak Review You’ve Been Waiting 38 Years To Read
It feels like only yesterday that Silver Streak opened. Or so. The first pairing of Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor, to be followed by beloved classics like Stir Crazy, See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and the unforgettable Another You. Which I completely forgot about. I even forgot to see it.
I Am Jodorowsky’s Dune: And You Can Too!
“I say, if I need to cut (off) my arms in order to make that picture, I will cut (off) my arms. I was even ready to die doing that.”
How to Choose the Perfect Smartphone for the Cinema
People get huffy so easily in this modern age.
Mind Control Double Feature #87: Mad Doctors
There is no scarier place on earth than a hospital. Disease festers on every surface. The halls echo with screams of the dying. Depraved, sleep-deprived medical practitioners fornicate in ORs.
Child’s Pose Makes it Hard to Relax
The new Romanian film, Child’s Pose, asks you a very rude question