The Interview Asks Practically Nothing of You
The Interview is slightly less believable than a film like White House Down and slightly more juvenile than a fistful of sperm.
Category Archives: Pithy Reviews
Watching Detention Will Olden You
CRITIC GENERAL’S WARNING: Watching this film may result in premature balding, liver spots, incontinence, advanced crotchetiness, and the death of narrative cinema.
Pioneer: Wet & Wild-Eyed Norwegians
Shall we explore the murky depths with some neoprene-coated Norwegians?
Zero Motivation: War Is Hell(ishly Boring)
Israelis have mandatory military service and someone’s got to not make the coffee and fuck up the filing.
Bad Timing = Bad Movie
One of the more unpleasant movies you will ever, if you’re smarter than me, not bother to watch.
Point and Shoot (and Then Consider Your Aim)
Matt VanDyke thinks he’s telling his story, but his story ends up being about how telling your story is essentially dishonest.
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1 Section B Article 12 Line π Pixel •
I do not particularly wish to review this film, which I have just seen, while growing increasingly intoxicated. On purpose.
Big Hero 6: the Best and Worst of Disney
If Disney had let Big Hero 6 go in the direction its characters demanded, it might have been pretty brilliant.
Foxcatcher: Wrestle Your Demons
It starts with vintage footage of a fox hunt, complete with horses and bugles and excited children. These home movies presumably come from the halcyon days of the Philadelphia area DuPont […]
Zero Charisma: Gamer Nerd Gone Mad
A less comedic story than one would expect about a gamer nerd coming face to face with his massive personality flaws.
The Raven: 1935’s Lugosi / Karloff Death Match
This Halloween, dare to watch this most gruesome and shocking film!
Jake Paltrow’s Young Ones Lands Like Pudding
Paltrow’s script hovers over characters and situations like a teacher’s red pen. “Needs improvement. See me after class.”
The Mack, or It’s Hard Out Here For A Pimp
Join me on a little trip to the Player’s Ball…
Birdman Does An Awful Lot of Flapping
In which I am underwhelmed by the latest from director Alejandro Iñárritu.