If you have been dying to see Sean Bean act in a film in which he does not die and in which he plays a bee soldier, Jupiter Ascending might remove that last final chunk of your will to live.
Why not celebrate Labor Day by quitting your job? Hooray!
Brubaker is one of those films that you really need to read about.
Let’s just pretend it doesn’t exist and never speak of it again.
Will you go to the Maze Prom with me?
It’s all gunplay, explodey bits, and kisses from here on out. Whatever planet they’re on seems pretty disposable. And flammable.
I have found the great white whale of bad films. It is so staggeringly incompetent that it makes you long for the narrative cohesion of Highlander 2: The Quickening.
If any of Divergent makes sense to you, I’m genuinely sorry.
A movie that demands to be moved straight to the top of your Movies Not To Watch list.
Films about suicide should probably try harder to not make you want to kill yourself.
Need a movie not to watch? Look no further! The Stuff is gloopy, delicious, and very, very bad for you.
Having a hard time deciding what not to watch? Please allow Stand By For Mind Control special correspondent MC Frontalot to help you out by watching many movies he — and you — should keep clear of your optical sockets.
42 makes Jackie Robinson as interesting as day 12 of the Overcooked Vegetable Conference of America.
Are you smarter than an Autobot? Prove it, sucker.