The Vanishing, A Creepy Dutch Not-Mystery
In which we find it’s best not to know.
Chevalier Attempts to Measure Your Manhood
Did you watch Chevalier? Then give yourself +20 points.
The Measure of A Man: Whom To Oppress?
To be a gear in the oppressive machinery of society, or a wrench?
X-Men: Apocalypse, And Embracing The Stupid
Another dopey superhero flick–but aren’t they supposed to be dopey?
In Which Ghostbusters II Is Reconsidered
Trainwreck or sleeper we’ve too long slept on? The answer might very well not entirely surprise you.
Surf II: Highly Concentrated, Possibly Fatal ’80s Teen Trash
A heady brew of surfers, punks, zombies, egregious nudity, and new wave tunes one should consume with caution, if at all.
What Not to Watch: Fantastic Four
This is a dumpster fire full of other, smaller, dumpster fires.
Belladonna of Sadness: Wild Animated Medieval Japanese Sex and Death!
A new restoration of the weirdest movie you never knew you already should have seen.
Captain America: Civil War and the Marvel of Your Mind
This not very good cake is so good I’m going to smash it in your face.
SFIFF: The Demons, or: Coming of Age In Canada Is More Ominous Than You Thought
A slow creeper from the San Francisco International Film Festival.
Chan Is Missing: Forget It, It’s Chinatown
A search for that which can’t be found.
3rd Street Blackout: An Indie Rom-Com You Might Enjoy
Essentially Eyes Wide Shut, but with fewer pretentious orgies.
The Jungle Book: O RLY?
We are man-cubs and we are dangerous.
The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane Is Inexplicably Odd
Don’t mess with the kid.