Five Amazing Things About the Maze Runner
Will you go to the Maze Prom with me?
Sleepaway Camp: All About The Ending
In which we examine the fabled slasher video hit with the crazy-pants ending.
Failing To Enjoy Jupiter Ascending On An Aeroplane
It’s all gunplay, explodey bits, and kisses from here on out. Whatever planet they’re on seems pretty disposable. And flammable.
Jerry Lewis’s Hardly Working: The Worst Movie I Have Ever Seen
I have found the great white whale of bad films. It is so staggeringly incompetent that it makes you long for the narrative cohesion of Highlander 2: The Quickening.
Bend Over, Here Comes Kingsman: The Secret Service
Matthew Vaughn’s Kingsman: The Secret Service is so clever it’s not clever at all.
Mr. Holmes: Declaring Yourself a Missing Person
Sherlock Holmes’ last case is the mystery of his last case.
Chappie: Part Weird, Part Crappy
Neill Blomkamp’s third movie, Chappie, is more enjoyable than his second, Elysium, but so is being poked in the eye with a sharp stick.
A Wolf At The Door, or: Why Not To Have An Affair If You’re Brazilian
An affair goes dark in this slow burning thriller from Brazil.
Merchants of Doubt Leaves Me Skeptical
They should show half of this film in schools before they give kids the keys to the television.
The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T., In Which Dr. Seuss’s Brain Blows Up
A classic of weird from 1953. Grab your blue beanie and check it out with me
Vampire Children: On Dracula’s Daughter & Son of Dracula
Exhuming two sequels of old to find they do make sequels like they used to: badly.
Joe Dante’s Piranha Bites. In A Good Way.
In which I watch, for the first time ever, this most beloved Jaws rip-off.
A Poem Is A Naked Person: In Which Les Blank Wanders Around With Leon Russell
A painterly documentary about Leon Russell finally sees the light of day.
Divergent is the Perfect Film to Not Watch Right Now
If any of Divergent makes sense to you, I’m genuinely sorry.