Jerry Lewis’s Hardly Working: The Worst Movie I Have Ever Seen
I have found the great white whale of bad films. It is so staggeringly incompetent that it makes you long for the narrative cohesion of Highlander 2: The Quickening.
Bend Over, Here Comes Kingsman: The Secret Service
Matthew Vaughn’s Kingsman: The Secret Service is so clever it’s not clever at all.
Mr. Holmes: Declaring Yourself a Missing Person
Sherlock Holmes’ last case is the mystery of his last case.
Chappie: Part Weird, Part Crappy
Neill Blomkamp’s third movie, Chappie, is more enjoyable than his second, Elysium, but so is being poked in the eye with a sharp stick.
A Wolf At The Door, or: Why Not To Have An Affair If You’re Brazilian
An affair goes dark in this slow burning thriller from Brazil.
Merchants of Doubt Leaves Me Skeptical
They should show half of this film in schools before they give kids the keys to the television.
The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T., In Which Dr. Seuss’s Brain Blows Up
A classic of weird from 1953. Grab your blue beanie and check it out with me
Vampire Children: On Dracula’s Daughter & Son of Dracula
Exhuming two sequels of old to find they do make sequels like they used to: badly.
Joe Dante’s Piranha Bites. In A Good Way.
In which I watch, for the first time ever, this most beloved Jaws rip-off.
A Poem Is A Naked Person: In Which Les Blank Wanders Around With Leon Russell
A painterly documentary about Leon Russell finally sees the light of day.
Divergent is the Perfect Film to Not Watch Right Now
If any of Divergent makes sense to you, I’m genuinely sorry.
Wild Tales: Civilization Suits Us Savages
We’re animals. Might as well find the humor in it.
Reality: In Which Quentin Dupieux Makes Another Quentin Dupieux Movie
You know what you’re getting even though you don’t know what you’re getting.
Finding Tatanka: A Filmmaker Searches For His Father
A new documentary by friend of Mind Control, Jacob Bricca.